Around 5 months ago during my mid year exams I wrote my first blog post. My first post was inspired by myself and fellow students who struggled to find their exam mojo. I am now in the middle of my year end exams, it is day 7 of my study break and I have failed to open a single source of content material. You’d think I’d be panicking but clearly I’m still in denial (tbh, I’m in denial about most things like being an adult, split ends, my unhealthy lifestyle and the fact that Shahrukh Khan is married). I remember after posting my first blog post and receiving such positive responses, I was motivated get ”motoring”, as every brown teacher encourages, and survived my journey to and from my allocated seat in the examination hall. Here’s attempt 2, hoping this post will have the same effect as the first.
3 things I do to avoid studying:
- Personal Hygiene: Like sands through the hour glass….a young Shahnaaz was finally given the freedom to shower at her leisure. Through her preteen years and teenage years, she practiced this societal ritual daily ensuring every crevice was cleansed, teeth brushed. Entering adulthood…. came the discovery of flavoured gum, dry shampoo and Mitchum. BASICALLY, I don’t bath every day. Whatever, judge away, you don’t either. I’m sorry, but like sometimes I just don’t sweat or smell and like WHO’S GONNA KNOW. I genuinely just don’t find the need to shower sometimes. I’m sorry if that offends you, but I really don’t. Like you guys… EVERY DAY? HOW NECESSARY IS THIS?? SUNDAYS??? Wow, I sound defensive. The point is, exam time is hygiene time. In order to avoid my student responsibilities, I’m on top of my game with hygiene. I’m opening up every Body Shop gift set I ever got, I’m filling the tub with bath bombs and baking ingredients, I’m rinsing and repeating like the bottle instructs, heck I’m air drying because that’s how passionate I am about hygiene. Never mind I just wasted 3 hours, the curves of my ears are shining bruh.
- Planning diets and exercise routines: I probably spend 2.4 hours daily (based on a true story) searching for and watching ”bootylicious” and ”bye bye flabby arms/bat wings” exercise videos carefully using my non-existent knowledge on fitness and the human body to formulate the PERFECT workout routine that if followed religiously for 2 days will give me Sofia Vergara’s body. Because why take into consideration genetics, nutrition and self-love? Like why would I do that? Why should I be logical and realistic?
- Making time tables: LOL. This is my favourite. Before the actual exam I have about 3 time tables outlining my study content and which days I’ll be covering each section. It takes me about 30-45 minutes to make each one, once I’m done with my colour coding and artwork (smiley faces and hearts err’where). Why I have three you ask? Am I that efficient you ask? You see, the first one is made two weeks before the exam leaving ample time for revision and meditation (heck, you could even throw in a family dinner here and there), the second draft is made a week before the exam when you failed to follow the first draft and now need to fit in all the content from the previous week into this week. No more family dinners, 2 minute noodles will have to do. Draft 3 is do or die. You have no time for revision, nutrition, sleep, hygiene or social interaction. You only have 48 hours to complete 6 months of missed lectures. You rock up to the exam venue greeted with ”Are you okay”s and ”What happened to you? You don’t look well”s. Thanks Bridget, that’s exactly what I needed rn. This is the point where ”I hope I do well” turns into “Omg bra, I just wanna pass this thing. What’s that sugar daddy app called again?”
I actually have more of these to add to the list but I have another exam next week which needs avoidance so I’m saving them up for then. To the community that reads my blog, you motivate and encourage me. I thank you for this. I am naturally a passionate person who enjoys communicating and learning, unfortunately sometimes bumps on the road makes you shine less and lose the spark that once drove you. I experience this sometimes. But I’m trying not to let that get the best of me. And as someone who has mixed feelings about social media, it led me to my viewers, my readers and my friends. And I am ever ever so grateful to ANYONE who reads my blog because your words and support always help ignite my spark. To any students out there, don’t ever let an institution or piece of paper dim your spark. You’re brighter than you know to a community larger than your school/varsity walls. If ever you’d like to chat and bitch about things that stress you out feel free to slide in the DMs so we can rant together. Thank you so so much for chatting with me and remember to say hi (IG: @shahnaaznaby). Follow my blog by filling in your email address in the subscribe bars and share this article to your fellow procrastinators.