We’ve all had Instagram crushes right? Not the ones you ogle over for a few seconds and then scroll, but the ones you find tagged on your best friend’s cousin’s neighbour’s mother’s profile? And then from his bio, posts and captions, you truly get to know his personality, hobbies, career and family and realise that God has finally shown you the path to your soul mate. And of course, you’re not a psychopath so you don’t follow or slide into the DMs but rather spend your days stalking him hoping by some miracle that he notices you and hits you up. I’m talking about THAT CRUSH. Now I had one. A BIG one. He was great but you know, things didn’t work out. I was really busy with my business and studies and he…..well he didn’t know I existed. Other than that we had a great 3 weeks together. Now I know what you’re thinking. “LOL I already knew this girl was a little crazy…but she’s NOT that bad.” GURRRRRLLLLLL, you’re about to feel real sorry for me once you’re done reading this post.
Whether it’s a relationship or crush, I will always always create imaginary scenarios accompanied by background Bollywood music. I mean, I could get a ”Hey” on Whatsapp and already I’m on Track 11 where we’re singing ”Baar baar din yeh aaye” at Papa Roti’s for our son’s third birthday. Certain songs ignite different thoughts, so please walk with me through some of my scenarios and imaginary relationships. Click on the song to listen with me xxx (expect poor grammar and typos, written in a rush).
7 Bollywood songs that dictated my Instagram crush/relationship:
1) Lucky Lips- Lucky: A song me and my girls would dance to, to remind you that we’re
the shit hot stuff that you’d be lucky to come close to. Little old me being the strong young independent woman that I am who don’t need no man to make her feel complete. Just laughing at joint couple profiles with my single feminist friends. Unprepared and ignorant to the flaming love that’s about to enter my life and turn me from Becky to Biwi.
2) Deewana Hai Dekho- Kabhie Kushi Kabhie Gham: When you first spot husband on the explore page and the relationship begins. This song usually makes me think of….. the quad at Westville campus and he’s just walked out of the library towards the caf. You stop him midway, because how dare he??? Kaun hai??? Jisne dobaara mudke mujhe nahin dekha? I mean…who is he? GIRL, YOU KNOWS I’M ABOUT TO FLASHMOB WITH MY GIRLS AROUND THE POND AND T-BLOCK.
3) Tujhe Dekha To Yeh Jaana Sanam- Dilwale Dulhani Le Jayenge: YA’LL. He notices me and wants to get it on. Where could this happen though? Where in Durban do we have a field of dandelions? Botanical Gardens? Beachfront? Oh well, fountain outside Gateway is romantic enough. The point is, bae likes me too and it’s time to start planning how we’re going to break it to my parents that I actually talk to boys.
4) My Dill Goes Mmm- Salaam Namaste: Wooooooo life is great you guys. We be driving around Durban, hitting roof top night market, Sunday beach walks, waffles @ iheartmarket and buying couple t-shirts from JayJays (is that shop still open?). What could go wrong?
5) Tujhe Yaad Na Meri Aaye- Kuch Kuch Hota Hai- Something went wrong. My parents are NOT happy. We’re apparently both still too young, need to focus on our studies and need to stop doing the shame-shame in public. (breathing the same oxygen is the shame-shame).
6) Aaya tere dar par- Veer Zaara: BAE CAME THROUUUGGGHHHHH. So here’s how I imagine the most dramatic point of our whole love saga. I’m at my cousin’s wedding at NMJ and I look great but also a sad yearning lover. I go onto the stage to give my cousin’s wife her new bouquet and as I bend down to whisper a funny in her ear, (accompanied with the chorus of this song) I hear the doors, I turn my head and there he is. The entire hall is SHOOK. Aunty zayboon is choking on her samoosa, my mother is crying, Nabeela is videoing the entire thing. I walk down, my lover awaits. We’re facing each other across the hall. He just drove 600km and is drenched from the rain outside- I still look bomb. (skip to 3:55). I start walking, I walk faster, I start slow running , normal running, I fall coz running in heels is
a bitch difficult, he finally realises he should make an effort and starts walking towards me too. Hearts pounding, aunties cursing. We reach each other and BAM load shedding.
7) The Medley- Mujse Dosti Karoge: After that whole shabockle, the parents had to say yes. I mean, sure I may be making a massive mistake but the dil wants what it wants. So finally our family comes together and swap childhood stories and burfee. And it turns out our parents went to the same primary school and his someone is my someone and every one is happy.
I could go on, but that would be a blog post even I’d be too lazy to read. So I think I may do a part 2 to this. Maybe? How does my imaginary relationship turn out? Do we end up together? Do my readers send me to a mental health clinic? WHO KNOWS!? Anyways, I actually would like to do a part 2 of this when I am able to put more thought and detail into it. My imagination runs wild and I’d love to translate that to my blog. Due to campus demands, the lack of a decent laptop and work…I haven’t had the time to properly sit down with a blog post. Hopefully the next one will be better!
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