Is my title inappropriate and saying naked on the internet is not okay for a girl to do? OH WELL. As a post-exam treat, my friends and I decided to go to a spa for the ultimate stress reliever of lying down naked in a dark room whilst a stranger judges your bare self. Now, I’m not a spa girl, so whenever the rare occasion arises where I do go for a massage, I go through a series of paranoia and panic before I can actually calm down, relax and enjoy myself. So, allow me to walk you through my thoughts during a massage.
20 things I think about during a massage :
- Is this my masseur? Is she the one who’s about to touch my naked body?
- Wait, do I take off my top AND my bra? Or can I just take my top off?
- Please don’t look, please don’t look. YES! Under the covers.
- Ooh, these sheets are nice.
- My face can’t fit in the hole
- Why did she leave the room? IS SHE TELLING HER FRIENDS ABOUT ME??
- Ok. She’s a professional. She’s seen hundreds of bodies, I can’t be the worst one.
- Why didn’t I wax that? Please don’t notice.
- If I came in for a back massage…..is she supposed to touch my butt?
- I wonder. If I came back for weekly massages, would that help my back fat?
- Please don’t fall off to sleep.
- LADY. That hurts. STOP.
- Oh my God, that feels amazing, don’t stop.
- OH. MY. GOD. YOUR HANDS ARE MAGIC.
- What if they want me to sleep and I wake up to find myself in an organ trafficking situation? (sends location to family).
- You want me to turn?? WHY? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO TOUCH?
- Oh right, LOL. I wanted a head massage too.
- Ok, turn quick before she sees my goods.
- YAAASSSSS, I made it.
- Ow, that’s my hair.
In all honestly I actually REALLY enjoyed my massage. As I said, I’m just awkward in most situations but I appreciate everyone in the masseur and cosmetology business. THANK YOU for tolerating me! I’m thinking of doing a full review of the spa I visited in my next blog post. As a person who doesn’t always feel comfortable in these situations, they made me feel extremely at home and accepted.
Thank you so so much for chatting with me this week! I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the support of my readers. Getting to know new people through my blog is my most favourite thing in the world right now. ILY.